10 Almost Sexy Album Covers
“Sex sells” may be the oldest rule in the long history of marketing. Since it is also the most popular one, our cities and minds slowly get clogged with cleavage and backsides. This is meant to part us from our money – and it works. The simpler the part of the brain you stimulate, the more attention you will get. But there’s one exception to this golden rule: If your artwork looks pathetic or bizarre, your strategy might backfire. Let me prove my point:
Is “African Love” describing the affection for a whole continent or just love in Africa? Is using stock photography better than having a design or even an idea? No, but it’s less expensive.
Nothing in advertisement can hurt more than a bad pun. I guess Johnny Cash is used to those since kindergarten. BTW: Why does the lady on the cover look like she wants to beat the s**t out of me, if I’d buy the record?
This happens to Eddie all the time. Just a little second of inattention and – whooosh! – a lady in the audience strips naked, jumps on the piano and starts to worship him. Come on, Eddie, tell us another story!
What’s the idea behind this blurry picture? Who’s this woman? Is she Dora Suarez? Is she dead? Is she being raped? Is the graphic artist stoned? Ominous…
“When our first splatter metal CD was published, we were in a terrible pressure to find a design that fitted our musical style. Then Vladimir had an epiphany: We’ll use a sexy lady that’s looking seductive in the audience while playing with her bowels. That’S exactly how most people react to our music. My little sister made the illustration in about half an hour, which saved us a lot of money.”
No one will believe me, but for the seventies ideal of beauty this hunk is mighty sexy. Yes, there was a time when moustaches, bald heads and pubic hair all over a man’s body were considered erotic. Sexiest man alive was Burt Reynolds! The fact that the human race didn’t completely stop reproducing is a proof for the existence of a higher being – it’s a damn miracle.
It seems like there is simply every fetish out there in the web. At least that is what the search results for any given word are meaning. Even if you search for “plaque” you will find someone who only gets hot not brushing his teeth. If you are totally aroused by fat woman sitting on the loo, please don’t be apalled – for me it’s producing exactly the opposite effect…
La France! La Mour! La Cordion! La Stereotype! Watch this typical French mating ritual. In the next step she will unravel her stockings and then the male will put out his baguette…
True story: This artwork describes how Roger Waters met his love and future wife. He was racing across the small roads of the Scottish highlands with his Porsche on a rainy day. Suddenly, through the mist and fog, this woman appeared before him like a ghost! Naked, naturally. We all were naked all of the time in the seventies, man!
“At our stag party, while we listened to uncensored (sic!) rugby songs, we heard that stomping sound in a room nearby. What happened next, was shocking! When we peeped through that keyhole we could see Officer O’Brian and our governess dancing the pas de deux from ‘Swan Lake’.” Naked naturally, see above…
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